'Till Death Do Us Part...Or One Full Year... Which Ever Comes First

Scientists in Italy announced this week a major discovery in how the power of love affects us all, specifically the biology of the brain in new-found lovers.

A molecule named Nerve Growth Factor (NGF) has been labeled as the primary trigger for that sweaty-palm, rushing heartbeat, dizzy, head-over-heels feeling otherwise known as "falling in love."

The study, published in the Journal Of Psychoneuroendocrinology, analyzed the blood of 58 people who had recently reported "falling madly in love" and compared the findings to those labeled as "single" or individuals in "long-term relationships."

According to the results of the test, the level of NGF in the newer love-birds blood was significantly higher than those found in the other groups, leading the researchers to hypothesize actual "chemistry" present at the start of a new relationship.

But like most drugs -- natural or synthesized -- the trigger for the uncovered love-molecule comes with an inevitable expiration date. After a full year with the same partner, the levels of NGF molecules in the blood of those tested fell harshly back to the same quantity of those who were considered single or in long-term relationships, offering an explanation as to why newlyweds often fall into a rut seven to twelve months after proclaiming "I Do."

This is now the latest reason Nick and Jessica's publicists give for their relationship demise, though I remain entirely convinced it has something to do with her being a cheap, whorish, talentless, flaunting fluzy.