Sometimes It Is, You Know, Rocket Science

It is a long established fact that in space, no one can hear you scream. But a deafening chorus of wondrous cheers erupted at Penn State yesterday when a team of astronomers announced they may have discovered evidence of a new solar system forming before our very eyes.

The researchers uncovered the presence of a large mass roughly eight-times the size of Jupiter, encircled by a disk of what may be planet-forming material which is usually present around other stars of similar size and make-up. This solidified solar soup, otherwise known as a "brown dwarf," was studied by the astrophysicists using NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope, the Hubble Space Telescope, and two telescopes in the Chilean Andes.

Though it is unclear if the gas and dust encircling the mass will form planets and evolve into a miniature solar system, the object -- which is over 500 light-years away and roughly 2 million years old -- will be studied for many years to come.

Criticism of the astronomical finding, however, shifted to the surface as space skeptics began hypothesizing the dark, swirling object seen from afar was not, in fact, an official "brown dwarf" but instead an outdated acting resume once belonging to child superstar Gary Coleman.

When pressed for an explanation on the striking similarities, the team of rocket scientists replied, "What you talkin' bout Willis?"