Who Said All Short Rich Jews Were Cheap?

Mini-Mayor Mikey Bloomberg began his morning today at City Hall by taking the official oath of office as the 108th mayor of New York Effing City.

But before the billionaire bureaucrat could begin his second term, he was required to pay the city clerk a fee -- just as every elected leader has before him since the city was first established in 1898. Originally set at 15 cents, the cost of owning the lives of every man, woman and child in this tinsel town has since been raised to a whopping $9.00.

That means you're now worth a grand total .0000011 cents!

Oh, and for the record, Bloomie's campaign manager, Kevin Sheekey, received his annual end of the year bonus today: $400,000.

WHO HEARTS NY? Show of fingers...