Breaking News: The Break Up Of Roy And Silo

Move over Angelina, there's a new homewrecker in town.

After just six years of what many would describe as a passionate and public love affair, a bond which both science and nature could not divide, Central Park's most infamous duo, Roy and Silo, the gay penguins, call it quits...

And let me just tell you, Silo wasted no time moving on.

Perhaps the saddest part of the story isn't the split itself, which has left Roy reportedly "alone in a corner, staring at a wall." You see, instead of chasing after a younger, buffer, blonder boytoy, Silo's eyes quickly found themselves transfixed upon the abstract allure of Scrappy, a new female penguin just in from the coast of California.

Slut.

Already sides are forming, as the public begins to weigh in on the recent relationship demise. My sympathies fall to Roy of course -- who much like Jen would have been -- is now left mateless and dateless to care for and raise Tango, the female child hatched and adopted early on by the couple during happier, gayer times.

I guess Captain and Tenille missed the mark entirely on this one. Maybe love just isn't enough to keep us together after all.

Well, like I told Brad when he asked for my advice on a similar subject early last year, sometimes you have to lose love on purpose to know how great it feels to find love unexpectedly.

So I say to Silo, just remember: when a sweet talkin' girl comes a splashing along, chirping that song, No no, don't mess around, you've got to be strong. Just stop, 'cause Roy really loves you. Silo stop! He'll be thinking about you. Look in your heart and let love, just let love keep you together...

Whatever.