Salvation In The City
As I stumble humbly home, alone, back from the beaten bar whose welcome I severely overstayed, in this, the city that never sleeps in the same bed twice, I recount the myriad of rational reasons I shouldn't place this call.Number 1: He may just answer.
Number 2: He may just say no.
Number 2.5: He may just say yes.
Yes, come over. Yes, lose your shirt. Yes, I think we're ready. Yes, I feel the same way. Yes, I'll love you for the rest of my life.
No. No no, that's not what he'll say. How could he? We are but barely strangers, a tour guide and a tourist, whose site-seeing journey ended, instead, at the foot of his bed, yet in my head, so much history it's unreal, but in real time, an hour, maybe two.
Despite these shivers, these quivers of qualms I have with actually following through, my drunken digits dialed to reach out, if only just to touch you.
You've reached the voicemail box of The Guy You Want To Kiss.
Leave a message.
As I recognized I was, if only for the night, spared, I stared at my flip flopped feet, filthy now, blackened by the borough of this town, the unpaved streets, the dust and debris kicked up from some unfinished government project.
But what will the morning bring?
Another search? Another stumble? Another chance for some other form of soul salvation?
My soul's salvation.
In the city.
posted by A.J.M. at 10:53 AM
3 Comments:
i read your post,its like museing out loud. i hope that you like gay poetry if so you can find some at my site at davidepatton.blogspot, you will have to jump around the site as the gay poems are mixed in. also I have a chap book that have some gay poems in it. the book can be had for free from
http://persistenciapress.tripod.com
persistencia_press@yahoo.com
check it out and enjoy
David
hi....I read your blog and I think is a interesting......but are you sad?....I hope you're well....
I'm from chile so....I think that you can't read my blog 'cause is in spanish...jajaja
see you....
rodolfo cobain vicuña
I understand... I could never, ever count all the times I wanted to drunk dial a friend (and how ambiguous a term that is), someone I hurt and just try to renew some semblance of a relationship. It seems, the more I have to drink at dinner, the more I want to make that one call. Of course, I'd have to block my caller ID because the phone would never get answered in the first place. Hmmm... so maybe I do retain some lucidity when I am wasted.
Thank god for Craigslist and the ability to pour out my thoughts in anonymous posts. Hell, some of them make no sense at all, and I can say that objectively since I've been amazed at how little coherence is involved once I re-read them the next hung-over, dry mouthed morning.
And now, I can read your blog, make my own little contribution in the form of a comment... and continue to make as little sense as I have for a very long time.
So, AJ, this blog isn't just about you. J/K :)
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