All Dressed Up And No Where To Blow

Bring Out Your Dead! 'Coz it's time for another mind-numbing special edition of "Hey Remember When?" -- a picturesque look back at the great bold oldies and the blonde bobble-head biatches they've both blissfully become.

Hey, Remember When...Lindsey Lohan was a full-figured fire-headed fox? MMM is for MMMemories. First she tells you the waste-away is a result of her bulging battle with bulimia. Then she takes it all back, declaring her words were "misused."

Diet was the issue, undeniably. But it ain't your mamma's Special K our teen tart's been bowling through like there's no tomorrow. And if she's not too careful, there may not be...

Hey, Remember When...Nicole Richie was the sexy, sass-slinging star of the Simple Life? She was the only reason that show lasted, or could have for at least a season or two more. Now I'm using her personal memoir, The Truth About Diamonds, as a paperweight -- more than I can say for her, her future or shrinking book sales at this point.


Rumor has it Lohan and Richie have been getting together for more than just late-night partying. Seems they've put their collectively coked-up energies into a new album to be released this spring. I hear the title track, Walk Like An Addiction, is pretty darn catchy.

At least we still have classic ass-kicking beauties like Bebe to remind us not only do blondes NOT have more fun; brunettes look better doing it. Every time.