When Mother Nature Has Major Menopause

As we near the end of the first and only January we'll ever know of 2006, and the bills from an extravagant holiday begin their roll over in our mailboxes, the new gym memberships creep to an inevitable halt and the guilt for failing to send out those thank you cards yet again this year slowly sets in (and then thankfully quickly fades), it's no coincidence so few of us find the time or reason to reflect back on -- of all things -- the weather.

But for those of us who cherish and pride themselves on surviving the blizzard-like conditions of a white, New York City style Christmas, these heavenly hot flashes have left us wondering: Where, oh where, has Winter wandered?

According to Dr. James E. Hansen, the top climate expert at NASA, and former director of the Goddard Institute for Space Studies, those weathered winds of a wicked winter may soon become just a whimsical wish from our past.

In fact, his recent research has shown that 2005 was the warmest documented year in at least a century, a sign of something major shifting in the environment.

The culprit? No surprise: Global Warming.

Perhaps less shocking than that, the Bush administration refuses to hear about it. And if they continues to get their way, soon you won't be hearing much more on the issue either.

Following a controversial speech in which he spoke out against the government's failure to curb the emission of greenhouse gases associated with global warming, Hansen reported being threatened by the Bush Boys, claiming "dire consequences" would arise should these public statements continue.

Shortly thereafter, as expected, NASA began implementing a series of "restrictions" on Dr. Hansen's access to statistical information, insisting on reviewing first his lectures, papers and postings on the highly heated -- no pun intended -- topic.

But in recent interviews with the New York Times, the not-so-scared scientist insists it's his job and duty to speak out, to warn those in positions of power and to use his knowledge to help find a cure, not just cut corners.

In a January 29th story, Dr. Hansen told the NYT it would be ironically irresponsible for him not to continue to push the point to the press, despite the warnings of "dire consequences," because NASA's mission statement, after all, proclaims a promise "to understand and protect our home planet."

For his part in the paradigm, President Bush plans to outline in this Tuesday's State Of The Union Address his own personal mission statement: "It's My Party, and You'll Die If I Want You To."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some belated letters to mail out, bills to pay, and all before running out to the gym.

But first I have to decide which tank top to wear with my shorts and flip flops...