A Mother's Intuition by Bea Arthur

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn’t help noticing how handsome John’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of John’s sexuality and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two men interact, she started to wonder if there was more to John and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you think, but I assure you Mike and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mike came to John and said, "You know, ever since your mother came to dinner, I have been unable to find that beautiful, silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I’m not saying you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house and I’m not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle, but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, John."

Several days later John received a letter from his mother which read "Dear Son, I’m not saying you 'do' sleep with Mike, and I am not saying you 'do not' sleep with Mike, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."