TOMKAT'S BABY PICTURE RELEASED!!!

To put an end to the ever churning rumors that baby Suri Cruise/Holmes doesn't even exist, Tom and Katie have finally agreed to release to the press this picture of the couple's mysterious love child.

Now I'm no expert, but there's just something about her that screams "Spawn of Tom."

Yet Another Hicks In the White House

This week, while wars were being waged in the Middle East, President Bush invited American Idol 2006 winner Taylor Hicks, and the rest of the cheeky chorus-line castaways to the Oval Office.

The original hope was to use the teen idol superstars in a campaign to Rock the Vote -- an idea which was scrapped once Georgie was informed even the least liked idol to be booted from the show, 16 year old Kevin Covais, had a higher approval rating than he did.

Television Teachers Teach More Good

Mr. Noblet: Can anyone tell me the tragic irony of the Trojan War?
Tina: Um, that horses are friendly creatures yet a hollow, wooden one was used to destroy Troy?
Mr. Noblet: Wrong and no.
Chip: That the mighty warrior Achilles was killed by a small cut to his ankle.

Mr. Noblet: Chip is wronger. OK, here it is. The tragic irony of the Trojan War is that although it was fought over Helen, who was young and beautiful, by the time they rescued her ten years later, she was really old and very ugly.
Tina: But wasn't recovering the king's wife reward enough?
Mr. Noblet: Tina, an ugly woman is never a reward.

Lance Backs Up The Ass And Puts It In Bass

No, this time I really mean it. And may I also say, it's about time! Followed shortly there after by, YAY! And of course, told you so!

What could have been the first fag to fly in space is now the latest top pop celeb outed by rumors swirling the internet of his sexuality. "I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said that I was gay, it would overpower everything."

Bass tells People magazine, "I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand." Now, all he has in his hand, and on his face for that matter, is a smile. Why? Well, wouldn't you be all smiles if your new boyfriend was 32-year old Reichen Lehmkuhl, openly gay actor, model and wet dream extrodinaire?



In a related story, the happily hot couple has just registered at Victoria Secret, where Lance will unveil his clothing line, "Bi Buy Bi."

No seriously, Lance is gay.